Current mood:

distressed

there's a monkey in the basement
Sigh. Today was my beautiful girl's 3rd year check up. She got a couple shots, which she found hurtful and traumatic.

I'll admit I'm higher on the "coddle" end of the scale than the "not coddle" end. But I feel like I used to know where to draw the line. Since Micha died, though, I have no idea. She cries hysterically over something, and all I can think is - we turned her world on it's head and one of her little baby friends died. How is she processing this? What is she feeling? What is it like? Because to ME, it is HORRIBLE. I have no idea what it's like to her.

I know she knows Micha was at the doctor. How much does she associate him with all doctors? How abused does she feel by getting a shot? She couldn't even talk to her daddy about the appointment - even the nice parts of it - without crying. And not whiny-crying - crying like her heart was broken.

We get to go back for a booster flu shot in a month. And possibly a swine flu shot. That should be awesome.

I feel so awful for her. But I wish I knew if she was just normal levels of little kid upset or not. If this is normal then so be it. But what if she's got some deep sorrow and her ability to cope right now just isn't very strong? How in the hell do I help with that?

Bleah. :( I'm lucky - I still have my crying kid. I'm not complaining. I wish I knew what to do.

In unrelated to my daughter rambling - I hate selfishness. Hate it. I wish I could banish it completely. Fricking. Hate. It.